Construction Work On The Top Floor. That was the hashtag I created for the picture I posted on my instagram account on the last day of my last job.
The meaning was clear to me. Having decided to leave the company after a very short period of time (7 months), with a turmoil of feellings resulting from what I considered to be a roallercoaster experience and with no future perspectives workwise, I decided I would dedicate whatever time I would have unemployed to build a better version of myself.
The relief was huge but so was the eagerness, and need to be better. The level of self-consciousness that I always believed to have enabled me to easily reach a diagnosis on areas of improvement (the experience I had just lived also contributed). And so my wandering and somewhat creative mind started building a plan on how to work each of the “skills” that required intervention.
Focus, prioratize, listen, lead. To truly be here and now and to count until ten before reacting (AKA emotional control). All these were absolutely paramont in my life.
At that point, I didn’t even know that one can change whatever we set our mind to. I knew, though, that to compensate a latent filling of failure I had to surprise, to excell myself. And so I did.
Introducing sports in my life, which I always veemently rejected, was key. I started setting goals I had to overcome. With (wise) training, I have so far ran a 15km race on a beatiful but very, very hot day. And it felt amazing.
I attended various courses from various fileds, from Mindfullness, to Digital Marketing, to a Coaching Certification, thus acquiring tools in each of the categories of intervention.
I read more than I ever did. And each book has a purpose, may it be pure entertainment, knowledge (within my field of expertise) or a way of contributing to a better me. Instead of killing time on social media whenever I have to wait for something, or have spare time, I read.
I overcame the prejudice of spending part of my unemployed time doing things I enjoyed, because at the end of the day, this status will not last forever and I will not be in it again… And so I picked up on old habits: I go to the movies more regularly (matinees!), to exhibitions and museums, I study in public libraries and visit places that I had never been or hadn’t been for years. I became a tourist in my hometown.
An irredeemable sweettooth, I decided to give up on white sugar. Not because I wanted to loose weight (a welcoming consequence, though), but having been caringly nicknamed by former colleagues of mine as the Cookie Monster, what better way to test my changing skills than to give up on this delicious evil? And yes, I succeed, and it was way easier than I thought.
Most importantly, I dedicate more time to manage a (home) team of two (little) members, thus working on my skills on how to motivate, inspire, promote accountability and discipline, praise and say no, all in the most constructive fashion. I am a better mother, one that is more present, fully.
I still feel, I know, I could do even better with my time. Because it is such an immense privillege to have control over it. Even if I learned how to take hold of it in what coud have been a less positive moment, I chose to make it a damn good one.
Funny enough, the one thing I still haven’t learned, is to do absolutely nothing. Nothing. Not only because I believe it to be a healthy habit but also an art I’m yet to master. That will indeed be the ultimate change in me. And I will get there.
I am not sure where I will go next, but I have this incredible feelling of being way better today than I was before. I have sharpenned my focus, I have a level of self-confidence that is absolutely new to me, I am more feerless and tranquil about challenges that will take me out of my confort zone than I ever was.
And all these changes occured during unemployment. Maybe because I had a goal from Day 1. Or maybe it was because I like this idea of looking at the bright side of life. One thing is for sure, it was a choice. What is yours?
P.S. This sharing is dedicated to my family and to the amazing and inspiring people I met throughout this journey